SO Worth It!

       Have you ever gone through something that felt like absolute hell, but once you're on the other side of it you know that it was SO worth it? I have. I can think of many things that I fought my way through only to say those words. You can too, I'm sure. We can recall that moment when we realize that the feat outweighs the fight.

       One day, I was standing in my kitchen, and my oldest daughter came running in and held on to my waist so tightly that I almost couldn't breathe. As I embraced her, this feeling of love and gratitude flooded my heart to the point that it started pouring out of my eyes. I looked down at her remembering the all-day sickness that I had endured for the first five months of pregnancy, the bedrest, the scares of miscarriage, and the anxiety about my first natural birth. Then, in the same moment the words, "YOU ARE SO WORTH IT" replaced all of that. (Then the tears were ridiculous!) See, pregnancy was one of those "feat vs. fight" things for me. I love kids! However, I am not a fan of growing them in the first nine months. Quite frankly, I'm pretty sure that pregnancy hates me. The miracle that's taking place inside of my body feels more like an alien taking over my existence! I'm moody, I'm sick, I get bloated and fat, I'm tired, and the list goes on and on. HOWEVER, there are five points of pregnancy that I completely love- peeing on the stick and watching that second line appear, the day I can eat food again after barfing all day every day for the first five months, baby's first movements, finding out gender, and my absolute fave, delivery! Delivery day is the best because, though I know what's coming, I know what's coming! This is the moment that resolves the previous nine months. This is the moment that makes all the hardship SO worth it. This is the feat that outweighs the fight.
       Something else happened in that moment when my daughter hugged me. I thought about God, His perception of me, and how He gave His son, Jesus, to redeem me. I wondered if he thought that I was worth the fight. If He felt the same way about me that I felt in that overwhelming moment about my own daughter. The very second those thoughts left me I felt Him speak these five words, "YOU ARE SO WORTH IT."
       The days I screw up royally, I hold tight to these words. The days I feel victorious, I hold tight to these words. Grace is giving someone who is underserving something they don't deserve. That's what God gives us - His Grace. He doesn't change his opinion based on what we do, or don't do. He never says, "Today you're not really worth it." NEVER!
       Today is my daughter's birthday. She is 8 years old. I am teaching her to walk in grace with her head held high because she IS and ALWAYS will be worth it! Not only in my eyes and my husband's, but in God's eyes. It is hard to overcome the bad days sometimes, but let us live in that place of worth and grace, and model such assurance for those around us. Because YOU ARE SO WORTH IT!

Until next time, Beautiful.

       

Tackle Your Dreams

       This is it. This was my dream. He was, and is, my dream. I met him when I was 12. Actually, the first time I met him I was like, "No way." HOWEVER, a year later I saw him for the second time, and let's just say, my reaction was NOT like my first. I tried everything to get his attention, but to no avail. Until one day, when he realized what I had known all along- that I'm awesome, and he can't live without me!
       By that point I considered myself somewhat of an expert on love. After all, I had watched all the movies, and had all the right songs on repeat. Young, crazy, and in love, we decided to get married. At 17 and 20 we tied the knot, took off to Costa Rica, and lived happily ever after. NOT! Shortly after we got back, we waited for our fairytale to unfold. However, instead of a love unfolding, it was more of a life unraveling. This was not a dream come true at all! This was a nightmare! Let's skip forward about 5 years. After waiting for our dreams to find us (which they didn't), we found out that the only chance we had at achieving any kind of dreamy marriage was to make it happen. So, we did! Now, 17 years later, we have 6 kids, and we are building the happiest ever after imaginable!
       I believe we need to "dare to dream," and even "chase our dreams," but I also believe that sometimes we just need to tackle our dreams. I mean, like an angry linebacker in the super bowl kind of tackle! Chase that dream down like you're on an episode of "COPS," and tackle that sucker! Dreams don't come true without a little (or a lot) of pursuit. So, go get it, girl!
       Honestly, I have had many dreams come true, but I've also had many crash and burn. So, I understand not all dreams are in the realm of possibilities. Although I believe many are. Or at least a version of them. For example, we might not be able to become instant millionaires, but we can pay off debts, and save. We might not be able to erase our pasts, but we have the power to change our futures. What are your dreams? A happily ever after? A better job, or promotion? What about travel, or relocating? God has dreams for each and every one of us, and with a little faith, courage, and pursuit such dreams can become reality. It might not be easy, but it's possible.
       You might be thinking, " Well, what about the dreams that are out of my control?" To that I say, there are dreams that can be achieved by pursuit, and then there are dreams that, at best, become prayers. Such circumstances are out of our control. What is in our control is the ability to make sure that the child with no tomorrow has a great today, or the loved one who struggles day in and day out knows that they are loved. Like I said, some dreams may not come to pass, but we can aim high knowing that we took a shot.
       When my husband and I realized that our dreams were within reach, we started tackling those things left and right. Some we had to let go of, and God has given grace in those areas even replacing previous dreams with new ones. Some dreams are still in the making, and we continue to move towards them. No dream is ever too big, or too small. So, take heart, keep dreaming, and tackle your dreams! May God give grace where it's needed, and the strength to take on the mighty and wonderful things He has for you!

Until next time, Beautiful.

Moms Have the Power to Change the World

       Moms are very powerful creatures. Every life begins with a mom. The moments that follow vary from being to being, but we all have the same beginning. I don't know much about the immediate moments after my beginning. I don't know if the woman who brought me into this world held me, kissed me, changed diapers, or dreamed of my future. What I do know, is that with the help of another mother, I was found a family; I was found a mom.
       There is more to moms than the ability to birth a child. We know that. However, sometimes I'm not sure we realize the power a mom has. Moms care for their children. They feed them, they bathe them, they change them, they love them. Life is only sustained in the early years by such care from another human being. That is huge, but what I'm referring to is much larger than even that. Moms have the power to lift the human soul, or crush the inward spirit. They have the ability to bring stability and security, or uncertainty and shame. Over the course of a childhood, they have the influence to shape another human being. Moms have the power to shift and sculpt entire generations, thus having the power to change the world.

For the moms of generations past...

       We don't all have to be moms to know the power of one. We've all known one at one time or another. Most of us know that blood doesn't make a mother. We further know, that regardless of what our moms did, or didn't do, they've impacted our lives, and in doing so, have indirectly impacted the lives of those around us.
       Some of you may have never known your mom. Some may have had your mom taken too soon. For this, I'm sorry. For some, dad has been "mom" in your lives. To this, I say, "Well done, Dad! This applies to you!" Whether you had a great mom, or one that you strive not to become, they played a part in who you will be. We all carry scars and scrapes from our pasts, but we don't have to repeat them. Let's grab onto grace, hold tight to truth, and look to a beautiful tomorrow!

...the moms of the future...

       Like I said, I was found a mom. She is the one who held me, kissed me, changed diapers, and continues to dream of my future. She might not have been at my beginning, but she gave me life. She changed my world, and the worlds of my children. God used her to change my course, and for that, there will always be a special place in my heart for her. She isn't perfect, but that's ok. Perfection isn't a qualification for being a mom, thankfully! She took what she could from her mom, who learned what she could from hers, and so forth. That's all any of us can do. We learn, we grow, and do the very best we can to love and lead our families.
       Moms have the power to change the world. May we recognize it, and use our power wisely! To the moms who have gone before us, the moms who have gone ahead of us, and to us moms in the making, Happy Mother's Day!

Until next time, Beautiful.

 ...the moms God gave us...

...and the dads who step in for the moms who've gone ahead.

Laugh It Off!

       When someone hurts themselves, gets hurt by another, or gets bothered by something, we say, "Shake it off! You'll be ok!" Well, I do a lot of shimmying and shaking (don't try to visualize. It's not graceful.), but some days that just doesn't cut it. Some days go so horribly wrong that by the end of it you either have to laugh it off, or you'll end up being arrested.

       Raise your hand if you've ever made a bad decision! (Get that hand up. I know I'm not the only one.) Ok, now who has made a decision that wasn't necessarily bad, but wasn't really a wise one? Me too. When we moved into our home two years ago, I was in charge of purchasing a new set of couches. This was extremely exciting to me because for the past decade of raising toddlers we've only ever purchased cheap, brown, cold, yet wipeable, couches. I was so blinded by my own excitement that I ran out and bought beautiful, bright, cream colored couches! You can imagine my husband's reaction. I made sure to inform him of the Scotch Guard coating I had invested in. The couches arrived, and I stood there soaking in the glorious view. A few months in, and those couches still looked new! I was pretty proud. Then it happened. My oldest asked me to follow him into the living room. What I saw next was something I will never EVER forget. My wonderful and artistic toddler was standing proud as a peacock with outstretched arms announcing, "PURPLE!" My eyes fell on the PURPLE masterpiece. All the kids were standing in silence waiting to see if our family would lose one of its members that day.  I opened my mouth to speak, but all that came out was laughter! My children will never forget that day either because I'm pretty sure that reaction permanently stunned them. At that moment, my husband walked in the room. His response? "Wow, that's fantastic. (Insert sarcasm) Let's take it out to the road!"

He was so proud!

       That day I received an A+ in the art of "Laughing it off." Though I haven't mastered it, I did learn a lot that day. First, never buy another light colored couch EVER again because after children there are grandchildren. Two, always splurge for the Scotch Guard! Whatever you do, invest in the Scotch Guard! And three, the spirit of a child is ALWAYS more valuable than any piece of furniture, or any other pricey item will ever be. Of course I spoke with my toddler about keeping the markers on paper, but that day he wasn't the only one who benefited from a lesson in mercy. We were able to take a crazy moment, and turn it into a teachable one. That, in and of itself, was mercy from the Master! That could have been a less than proud parenting moment (Not that I don't have some of those!), but God gave me grace in the moment. Honestly, that's probably what happens in every moment when laughter is the only solution to a potential apocalypse.
       We all have days when we need to laugh off life. If you don't, then you should start a blog. I'd read it! Next time something, or someone, has got you ready to throw down, pause, and try, TRY to laugh it off. It just might be the difference between creating a memory, or starting a rap sheet. If that doesn't work there's always tissues and Ben & Jerry's! Try the laughing first though, because some things just don't deserve your tears, or anyone else's. As always, be strong, be bold, be you.

Until next time, Beautiful.

Thank God for washable markers AND SCOTCH GUARD!

Welcome To The Freak Show

     

       Welcome to my life. We aren't freaks by any means. We just fit the stereo type. Though we may, or may not, appear to live up to it on occasion. Sure, we have six kids. Sure, we homeschool. Why yes, my husband is a pastor. Yes, that giant green machine is our mode of transportation. BUT we have tattoos, listen to all kinds of music, do NOT make all of the females wear floor-length denim (not that there's anything wrong with that), and I promise we are super cool. At least I think we are.
       My husband and I never set out to have a large family. Heck, I didn't even want kids! However, over the course of the journey our lives took some twists and turns, and we are better for them. Many people have one or two children. That's a great sized family. If the couple is feeling adventurous they may take the leap for a third. How wonderful! Then you have the folks who must have had a wild hair, and now have four children. They have now crossed the line into LARGE FAMILY. Once you've crossed the line, what's one more? Now there're five. Five! That's a handful! (Like I haven't heard that one before.) However, every so often you meet the couples who must be on a different wave length entirely. The ones who must have just kind of "lost it." These are the couples who have six plus kids. They're just freaks. I mean, who in their right mind would actually have six kids?! On purpose! Maybe they don't know how that happens. Maybe they don't own a t.v. Maybe a couple of them popped out without them noticing. Who knows, but whatever it is, it's odd. At least to some.

My half dozen

       Every family should be proud of who they are collectively, and what they stand for. Just as each individual is unique, every family is unique. When you build a strong family around love and grace, it's amazing to see each person grow and own their part within the family unit. However, keep in mind that families, like people, also have ups and downs.
       Sometimes we might find ourselves observing another family thinking one of two things. One, "Why can't our family be more like that?" Or two, "OMG, I can't imagine having a family like that!" Both can potentially cause a breakdown within you, or your pack. Be watchful of that. Your family has been uniquely knitted together with specific individuals just as every other family. Get into your groove, and do the dang thing! Live life to the fullest, embrace your adventures, and build each other up! Just remember that other families might have a different groove going on, and that's ok. Build them up too!
       Our family may, at times, be a spectacle. I know that. That may, or may not have been one of mine rolling down the road on a skateboard, eating an apple, in the nude. I will neither confirm, or deny that. However, I know we have been called to be us; who God has created us to be. I love that! We teach our kids to take risks, strive for excellence (not perfection), love unconditionally, and give grace as we've been given grace. We are loud, adventurous, and a very silly bunch. (As long as no one messes with one of us. Then we are a pack of wolves.) God has taught us the value of people, love, kindness, respect, and grace through family. I encourage you to find your flow, throw your inhibitions to the wind, and let your freak flag fly! (In an appropriate sort of way. Don't get me in trouble!) Be proud of your family. If you come from a family who might have caused you harm, or maybe still does, I'm sorry. Keep moving forward, and hold onto hope for the future of a family of your own. You can still walk with your head held high knowing you are valuable. Embrace who you are being set apart to be. Oh, and if you ever see a kid on his skateboard, smile and wave. Who knows, it might be mine.

Until next time, Beautiful.

We make our couch look like a love seat!

Our "better" behavior