That's A Wrap!

     I haven't blogged in almost a year! So much has happened, yet many things have remained the same. In case you're new to the blog, I am 35 years old, a wife, and a mother to six. I love God, love music, obviously love family, and am a free-spirited, artsy-type on the inside, but have realized that we thrive on routine and organization on the outside. That took a while to figure out, but it's true. We have also attempted to become somewhat minimalists in the home this year. This is difficult with a family of eight I am realizing. Though we only have a specific number of outfits, small amount of toys, and certain number of shoes, life is still lived and messes are still made. Toddlers still pee their pants, toys still get played with, and meals still leave dishes to clean. It has not come naturally, and by no means have I mastered it, but we are on our way.

     This past year I discovered many things. Some about myself, and some about the world around me. A few of the things I discovered were life changing! For example, Audible! I love to read, but I haven't completed a book in years! After I started having kids, I would read while I was nursing the baby. Then a few kids later I was chasing toddlers while nursing, so that was out. Then there was a season when I would try to read at night, but again, large family life had me passing out if I sat still for longer than 30 minutes. However, Audible allows me to be productive while listening to books. I love it! I can listen to a book and knit at the same time! It's amazing. Oh, I started knitting in the last year also. I always wanted to try it, so this year I did! I love that too! (Although right now I am on a knitting strike due to a certain sweater not turning out the way I wanted it to. Stupid sweater.)

     Over the years I have had a love/hate relationship with social media. That continues, except this year I discovered how incredibly behind I am in understanding aspects such as the whole Instagram/Facebook Story thing, so there's that. I think I have posted like 2 of them the entire year. I have, however, come to understand my love for taking pictures is two-fold. One is that I love the creative aspect of taking pictures, and secondly, I snap pictures wishing that they would forever be engraved into my memories. Over the last year I have gained a new appreciation for the life I have been given and the lives and health of all of our children, as both my son and I were scanned for serious conditions this past year. (All tests and scans came back clean. Thank God!) They say the days are long, but the years are short. There's nothing like the fear of cancer to put that into perspective. Live in and enjoy the present. Even if the present is painful, it's proof of life. Pictures are a way I can document the life I have come to love and cherish so much. Even the not-so-great pictures.

     I have learned that I am still strong-willed, and still hate being told "no" to things I truly want. I have further learned that it is ok to mourn over the end of a season, as long as I can rejoice in the coming one. I have been on the mountain top, and I have been in the valley. I have made new friends, and had to say goodbye to others. I have experienced joy amongst the sorrow of losing a friend who had suffered, yet suffers no longer. I didn't even know that was possible to feel joy while grieving. I am grieving her absence, but rejoicing in her being made whole with her Savior.

     Like I said, I have learned and discovered many things this past year, but here is what I am walking away from this year with...In every season there are highs and lows. There is grace and sometimes grief. There are victories and there are challenges. There is progress and at times setbacks. Yet every moment, every second, every ache, every joy, there is God. He is my greatest take away. He is my absolute. Regardless of circumstance or season, He is who He says He is, I am who He says I am, and nothing can take that away. Peace out, 2018! That's a wrap!

Until Next Year, Beautiful!

In Case Nobody Told You...

   

      Humans are very interesting beings. We are born, we live, and we die. What happens in between is what makes up what we leave behind. It's the legacy we leave to those we love. I am 34 years old, and have no plans of passing any time soon, but what I do plan on, is leaving a legacy. 

     It's a funny thing, life, because we can be so very intentional, but the unintentional inevitably happens. The memories of those who have gone ahead not only consist of the intentional acts of kindness, but the unintentional essence of who they were. To be honest, this challenges me. I not only feel challenged to be someone worth remembering, but challenged to tell those around me just how lovely they truly are. Why do we wait until one's memorial to notice and appreciate who they were, or the legacy they built? Why does it seem taboo to tell them while they are still building it? How life-changing would that be to speak life into that person rather than speaking about them to others once they've passed? What would it look like if we pointed out people's strengths instead of their weaknesses; to focus on their success instead of their failures?

     Encouragement, kindness, respect - these acts could impact not only the life of the one receiving them, but the lives that they encounter. There is enough hate in the world, so let's shine some light and love amongst it. May our legacies be built upon such foundations. 

     So, Beautiful...

In case nobody told you, you are deeply loved. 

You are worth more than you think. 

You have changed the world, though you probably don't realize it. 

God used you to change mine. 

In case nobody told you, you're value isn't defined by anything you've done or didn't do. 

You're human; it's ok to feel. 

It is also ok to cry.

In case nobody told you, forgiveness is not weakness. 

You have strength beyond what you've exemplified. 

Though, that strength was not meant to be used to bear the weight of the world. 

In case nobody told you, you are a brave soul. 

You are beautiful. 

You are appreciated. 

You are missed in your absence.

In case nobody told you, I am better because of you; 

So is my family.

In case nobody told you, you always have, and always will be enough.

In case nobody told you, thank you.

Every soul deserves to hear those words...

                            

                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

                                                                                                                      

                                                                                                       

                                                                 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                                                                                                               

                                                                                                                                                   

When Broken Becomes Beautiful

       I have lost count of how many dishes have been broken in our house. I've lost bowls, coffee mugs, and the most beautiful tea cups to accidental drops in the kitchen. Toys don't stand a chance. Walls become blank canvases to the artist's eye. Carpets are stained from life, and tables engraved with creativity. Through these years of having children in the home, a grace has grown for accidents. That doesn't mean that the frustration has diminished, that just means that the grace has increased when someone trips and their pizza flies through the air landing on my sofa. We've all witnessed things break, but have you ever seen a soul shatter? Maybe the soul of a child when you've snapped at them, or a person who has just had their heart broken. Maybe even your own, as life seems to keep coming at you. When a glass breaks, we might say a few choice words, but ultimately we sweep up the mess and move on. When a soul breaks it can't just be discarded. One of two things happens. The person remains broken, OR they don't, and they begin to heal and recover.

       I believe that there's beauty beyond the brokenness. We just have to lift our eyes to see past the present, and be brave enough to hold onto hope of the future. Physically speaking, one could take the broken pieces of glass, and create some mosaic masterpiece, or take an old pallet and furnish their apartment. (I don't know if I could actually do that, but Pinterest says it can be done, so it must be true!) The point being, just because something has been broken doesn't necessarily render it useless. The same goes for the soul. We've all been broken. Some of us have healed, some are in the process, and some live broken, but we've all known the sting of a break.

Be Brave; Be Beautiful

       Have you ever been walking through life when suddenly something triggers the sting of a past pain or failure? I know that's happened to me. I would patch it up, and keep going, but inevitably it would happen again. I didn't realize it, but I was living with an internal limp. There was brokenness that I hadn't identified, and it kept tripping me up at the most unexpected times. I got tired of having the same issues causing me pain, so I began to try to identify what the source of the pain was, and once I did, I wanted it healed and gone! As I started exploring some of the resources I had heard of regarding emotional healing, it hit me - all those amazing groups and books point back to the same solution! If I wanted the brokenness mended I would need to go to the only One who could redeem and restore. I read Luke 8:43-48, and I thought, "I want faith like that woman." (See below. It's good.) In my brokenness, I realized that this was not how I was intended to live. From that moment on, there was an aggravation, no, more of a contempt towards this hurt in my soul, and I wasn't going to live with it anymore. So, I didn't. I gave the pieces of my soul over to the One who could mend them, and I've never looked back. I still have the memories, just not the wounds.
       The beauty about the broken is that when Jesus puts the pieces back together they're never the same as they were before - they're better! When the woman He healed that day walked away, she was never the same again. She had engaged Jesus, and when He healed her, He sent her on her way with a beautiful story of redemption and restoration. He does the same with us. When we hand over our brokenness He responds with love, grace, and mercy, and if we are brave enough to walk in it we can't help but radiate beauty.
       Heartache, pain, brokenness, these are not what we were created for. We were created to carry out a purpose much greater than this. So, hand over the broken pieces, and be brave. When we are brave enough to trust Him, that's when broken truly becomes beautiful.

Until next time, Beautiful...