Long For The Future, Love In The Present

       I sweep and vacuum a lot. No, I mean, like three to four times a day. Sometimes less, sometimes more, it depends. The reason is twofold. One, I hate littered floors - crumbs, leaves, uneaten apples, crusts from sandwiches (because apparently the crust will kill children if they eat it), whatever, I hate seeing them, and hate feeling them underfoot. Second, we have 12 little hands grabbing food to put into 6 mouths to fill stomachs that know no end. Yes, we have allotted meal times, but I feed them more than once a day, so we spill more than once a day. Hence, the multiple sweeping. One day, I was performing said sweeping, and I was over it. I began to dream a little dream that went a little like this:

       I look forward to the day where there's no pizza smushed into the carpet. Where there is no food smeared on the walls as I play the "WTH Is That?" game. When Legos aren’t scattered about like confetti in Time Square on the first. Days I won’t run around holding back swears because the pain of stepping on a Lego can be worse than childbirth. When the spills, stains and mysterious artwork on the walls disappear. Ahhh, yes, that will be a good day. I will have clean carpets, counters, and couches. I will have grownup decor! I will be able to cook from a love for food rather than cater a crowd for survival. That will be the day! 

       Then as I continued to sweep crumbs, and whatever else, I noticed I had swept up some legos (which I didn’t mind because we have four billion of them), and also noticed a piece of paper that had made it into the dustpan as well. As I read the words scribbled on the paper, the dream that was playing out in my head suddenly took a turn down KillJoy St. I suddenly realized what my picture perfect home will mean.

       The day my dream of nicer things becomes reality, is the same day when the giggles cease, running into mommy's arms is no longer their favorite game, and the love notes littering my kitchen floor no longer exist. The morning I come downstairs, and my house looks like a photo from Better Homes and Gardens is also the day that Goodnight Moon gets packed away. Oh, how I will wake up dancing the morning after I get a full night’s rest, but that also means that I will no longer be going in and hushing the children from their midnight conversations, or comforting a little one from a nightmare, or saying prayers with the children I have the honor of raising. 

       The picture perfect home and the restful nights will come with time, I know that, and look forward to that. However, I also know, that the very same day those dreams come true, I will long for yesterday. So, while I am drinking the same cup of coffee that I have reheated 142 times, and sweeping up crumbs and cookies mixed with Legos and love notes, I will constantly be reminding myself of how blessed I am to have a home to sweep, crumbs to clean, and love notes to gather. 
       We all long for the future. It might be better jobs, better homes, or even better lives. Let us be reminded as we long for our future, to love in the present. It's what we do in the present that helps shape our future. So, may we recognize our blessings, live and love well in our longing, and have few regrets in the years to come!

Until next time, Beautiful.

Bestie-Less

        First, I will start out by speaking some truth. Ladies, we are amazing creatures! We can multitask like nobody's business, love some kind of fierce, change our minds on a dime, mother anything that moves, and most importantly, make leggings and yoga pants look GOOD! However, somehow with all this awesome in one package, we sometimes find it hard to make friends. I know, I know, it's crazy, but making girlfriends can be harder than finding a mate! Forget about mommy friends, and couples friends. Maybe it's because one room couldn't possibly contain all that awesomeness, BUT maybe it's something else. 
        Besties can be the greatest people on the planet. They are the sugar to your spice, the sweet to your sour, and the mayo to your mustard. (I probably should refrain from writing when I'm hungry.) Moving on from food analogies. A friend can calm you down, and hype you up. They can speak frankly, yet do so in a way that is accepted. They point you towards greatness, and cheer you on to success. Though, have you ever been in a season that seems as if you are Bestie-less? 

I'm not implying that your bestie is no longer, or that you are a hermit with no friends. I am saying that maybe you are in different seasons, or maybe busy with life, and lack the time to catch up. I have a BFF that has been in my life since we were five. FIVE!!!!! I can call her no matter what. Yet, I’ve still gone through seasons where I feel lonely and distant. I have often wondered what was wrong with me, or at times with everyone else because I'm usually pretty awesome! Kidding! (Kind of.) However, in those seasons, no matter how hard I try to push into relationships they seem to come back void. Why?

 Sometimes there are obvious reasons, or, sometimes the relationship isn’t healthy to continue, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I am talking about times when all is well, but you still can’t seem to connect. I have found that in these spells of feeling friendless, I haven't stumbled into that season, but have been placed there. If we just stop and reflect in those dry seasons we will often times find that God is gently calling us to pursue Him more passionately, read His word more frequently, and “befriend” Him more purposefully. These times aren’t always easy, but if we press in instead of stress out during our friendship droughts, we will find a strengthening in our relationship with God, and shortly thereafter, an outpouring of friendship in which we have something to offer. 
           You are amazing. So, whether your friendships are plenty, or you find yourself seeking more, be aware of your purpose in this season. Be your own kind of awesome!

Until next time, Beautiful.

Optimism And Bird Guts...

     
       We've all had "those" days. The days when you wake up with a smile ready to greet the day with optimism, but you end up with dead birds. Ok, maybe that's just me, but we all have days when everything we touch either spills, breaks, or injures us. Sometimes all of the above! I have "those" days quite often around here. Actually, now that I think about it, "those" days have become the new normal for us. We are a family of eight. This means life is never boring. Ever. We are loud, loving, adventurous, opinionated, and always shooting for optimism. We might miss, but we try.
       The other day, was a day we were really reaching for optimism. It was a day full of messes, moods, and meltdowns. A, "Why do you hate me, God?!" kind of day. I know I can't be the only one who has days of drama like this, so don't judge me. My husband, being the amazing guy he is, told me to go grab the biggest latte I could find (we had a free drink on our account), and while I was out, to grab some pizzas. My love for him grew leaps and bounds that day. So, I loaded up the kids in our giant, green vehicle (Yes, green. It's Starbucks green, so that makes it ok.), ordered the pizzas, and cranked the radio. I pulled up to Starbucks, ordered the biggest latte ever, and then found out the freebie had expired. Nooooooo!!!!! I angrily handed over my cash, and drove on to get the pizzas. The coupon I had for the pizzas wasn't expired, so there was my silver lining for the day. As I was driving home with my pizzas and my million dollar latte, I exhaled loudly, "It's ok. Days like today make me LOVE and APPRECIATE the great ones!" The words hadn't even left my lips, and SPLAT! I hit a bird. I looked over at the kids' faces wondering if they had noticed. Of course they had. I hear, "Mom! You killed a bird!" My response? Laughter. Full on, mad lady, lock her up in the loony bin, laughter! I tried to keep a straight face to console the children, but I couldn't! They stared at me, and finally said, "Well, at least it was only one!" Optimism!!!! And bird guts.
       When we can't seem to change our course, we can change our outlook. Find optimism where it can be found, and seek grace when it seems hidden. Any day is a good day if it doesn't end in murder, right? If all else fails, remember tomorrow is coming. New days, new mercies!

Until next time, Beautiful

RIP Supermom

     

      “You must be poised and patient, organized and artistic, focused, yet able to multi-task. Your family must be polite and well mannered at all times, punctual and picture ready. Their tummies must be full of the best possible food you can find while staying under budget. Your home must be an atmosphere of serenity and practicality. Above all, you must look fabulous while maintaining mentioned requirements. If for any reason you are unable to perform said duties you will be deemed unfit, and therefore sentenced to live with ‘mom guilt’ for the remainder of your parenting years.”

Sincerely,

Supermom 

   
       Let me just start by saying, What?! This lady makes Mary Poppins look like a loser! On a good day I might be able to cover two or three of those things. I'm not even going to get into the not-so-good days! 

       For some, Supermom is something to strive for. For others, it can be this constant reminder that they keep falling short. A couple years ago I found myself in the second category. I was running around carrying all the baggage that came with this "Supermom Status" I was trying to obtain.  I was constantly hearing failure nag at my self worth. I kept wondering, "Why now? After years of parenting, why now am I feeling insecure?!" Then it happened. I totally snapped! Someone called me “Supermom” one too many times. As soon as those words reached my ear, I was Bruce to Hulk in record time. What started as a complimentary term had caused me to place so many unnecessary expectations on myself as a mom. I had gotten to the point where I was filtering all my decisions through the What Would Supermom Do? system. In my Hulk moment, I realized I was no longer going to allow Supermom to rule over who I am, or what I do. That position is reserved for someone greater. 

  The day I killed Supermom my life seemed instantly easier. I'm not talking about the day-to-day duties, nope, our beautiful chaos remains intact, but my approach to life changed. That day I threw down that bag of lies I had been toting around, and was reminded of who I truly am. These days I am filtering my expectations and decisions through who God is knitting our family to be, not the WWSD filter.

  Sure, I still have pressures and expectations I place on myself. No, I do not always hit my target. I believe we all should have goals, and strive to achieve them, but whether we succeed or fail, we can choose to do so with grace instead of guilt. If you happen to be one of many moms who suffer with “mom guilt” I encourage you to assess those areas where you feel guilt, see if there are any changes you can make, and then ditch it! Shake off the mom guilt, mother lovingly and freely, and encourage other women to do the same. A little cheering from a fellow mom goes a long way.

  Though I am not Supermom, I do try to be the best mom I can be. As women and mothers we need to let go of the images we feel pressured to obtain, and take on the identity we have been given by the One who created us. So, R.I.P. Supermom. You will not be missed!

Until next time, Beautiful!