“You must be poised and patient, organized and artistic, focused, yet able to multi-task. Your family must be polite and well mannered at all times, punctual and picture ready. Their tummies must be full of the best possible food you can find while staying under budget. Your home must be an atmosphere of serenity and practicality. Above all, you must look fabulous while maintaining mentioned requirements. If for any reason you are unable to perform said duties you will be deemed unfit, and therefore sentenced to live with ‘mom guilt’ for the remainder of your parenting years.”
Sincerely,
Supermom
Let me just start by saying, What?! This lady makes Mary Poppins look like a loser! On a good day I might be able to cover two or three of those things. I'm not even going to get into the not-so-good days!
For some, Supermom is something to strive for. For others, it can be this constant reminder that they keep falling short. A couple years ago I found myself in the second category. I was running around carrying all the baggage that came with this "Supermom Status" I was trying to obtain. I was constantly hearing failure nag at my self worth. I kept wondering, "Why now? After years of parenting, why now am I feeling insecure?!" Then it happened. I totally snapped! Someone called me “Supermom” one too many times. As soon as those words reached my ear, I was Bruce to Hulk in record time. What started as a complimentary term had caused me to place so many unnecessary expectations on myself as a mom. I had gotten to the point where I was filtering all my decisions through the What Would Supermom Do? system. In my Hulk moment, I realized I was no longer going to allow Supermom to rule over who I am, or what I do. That position is reserved for someone greater.
The day I killed Supermom my life seemed instantly easier. I'm not talking about the day-to-day duties, nope, our beautiful chaos remains intact, but my approach to life changed. That day I threw down that bag of lies I had been toting around, and was reminded of who I truly am. These days I am filtering my expectations and decisions through who God is knitting our family to be, not the WWSD filter.
Sure, I still have pressures and expectations I place on myself. No, I do not always hit my target. I believe we all should have goals, and strive to achieve them, but whether we succeed or fail, we can choose to do so with grace instead of guilt. If you happen to be one of many moms who suffer with “mom guilt” I encourage you to assess those areas where you feel guilt, see if there are any changes you can make, and then ditch it! Shake off the mom guilt, mother lovingly and freely, and encourage other women to do the same. A little cheering from a fellow mom goes a long way.
Though I am not Supermom, I do try to be the best mom I can be. As women and mothers we need to let go of the images we feel pressured to obtain, and take on the identity we have been given by the One who created us. So, R.I.P. Supermom. You will not be missed!
Until next time, Beautiful!
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