Motherhood can be a "Mother"

       Twelve years ago I thought it would be fun to have a kid. What I didn't know was that having that kid would begin the process of turning me into a mother. Then I thought it would be exciting to have another. Maybe they could keep each other busy, hence making my job easier. LOL! I know, I know, I was young. I quickly realized that motherhood should come with a giant "CAUTION" sign. Motherhood is no joke, and is not for weak or wimpy human beings! As I blabbed on about my musings and philosophies on parenting to all the seasoned mothers I know, they listened attentively whilst internally snickering at my induction into the motherhood club.

       I babysat many children as a teen, but there is no amount of babysitting that could have prepared me for my adventure in parenting. No amount of classes or advice could have guided me in the big decisions I would have to make on my child's behalf. No amount of training or mental preparation could have fashioned me for head to head combat with a strong-willed toddler. Let's be honest, motherhood can be a MOTHER! It is the absolute greatest thing in the world, but it takes a strong woman to raise strong children. As I sit here thinking about all of the blood, sweat, and tears that go into training and equipping these tiny humans, I am literally laughing out loud. Yes, I said blood. There is blood, bruises, and sometimes internal injuries that come with this job. I have been hit in the eyeball with a Woody doll, my face has collided with heads on many occasions resulting in bloody noses or black eyes, and I have flown threw the air like a stunt double to catch a falling kid ending in trips to the orthopedic's office. Then there are the flips on the trampoline that don't go as planned, the cartwheels that aren't as easy as they once were, and the God awful slip-n-slide. I hate that thing! I'm pretty sure I cracked a rib trying to "show them how it's done." However, that's all physical pain. Then there is the emotional pain. This is so much worse. It's the pain you feel when your child is in pain. When they come home and tell you that they have no friends, or worse, that they were not only the last pick, but that they were made fun of for not being any good at the game. Cue Mama Bear! On the inside you want to know the names and addresses of every single one of those little..., but on the outside you show compassion in the moment, and turn the moment into a teachable one. Then there are the moments your child loses a loved one, gets dumped, or loses all faith in themselves. Nothing prepares us to handle these moments except walking through them, and learning for the next time. The struggle is real!

       Conversely, motherhood can be the most joyful, satisfying journey ever known. When you witness your child ride off on his two wheeler for the first time, or when they grasp a concept that they've been struggling to get. When they make the right choice when their character is tested, or show an act of kindness without being prompted. Even a simple "thank you" or "I love you" can reaffirm your ability as a mother. In that moment you realize they are going to be ok, and that you haven't screwed them up or failed them. I look forward to the day when I launch them into adulthood, and they can walk in who they are and what they're made of. I also look forward to offering advice and encouragement as they pursue their own journeys. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I can't wait to hear all of their own ideas about marriage and parenting, but I can't wait for the day when they experience this joy for themselves. Until then I will continue to embrace the fire, sculpting, and the making of a mother that I am undergoing in this season. I appreciate the honor of raising the six kids that we have been entrusted, and will do whatever I can not to screw it up! 

       Motherhood can definitely be a "Mother," but it is the best job in the world. Whether you are a mother, young or seasoned, a woman longing to become a mother, or a woman who has her eyes set on different sights, I wish you well on your journey and all your adventures. May you give and receive grace where it's needed, and laugh when it's necessary! 

Until next time, Beautiful!

P.S. In case you were wondering, she had fun taking that pic with me. Lol! 
PC: Corinne Schultz-age 8

The Summer of 34

     This past Spring I turned 34. I don't feel 34! Though, many times over my body rudely reminds me that I am a 34 year old woman who has grown and birthed 6 kids. This may sound ridiculous, but my body has not bounced back like the body of the 31 year old mother of 5 I once was. The half marathon I'm currently training for lets me know it with each strike of the pavement. However, my mind and soul affirm me as I note the positive changes that have taken place over the last decade. Especially over this past Summer...
Age Matters, BUT Doesn't Define 
       I used to be afraid of getting old. Now, I am not afraid of aging as much as I am afraid of wasting time. Age is a rite of passage that we have the privilege of celebrating each year. It doesn't limit us by definition. Instead it opens a gateway to a limitless arena of experience and wisdom. Sure, our bodies may change over time, but we have the opportunity to embrace each new season with zeal!
Balance Is Overrated 

Rest is not laziness. Laziness is laziness.

       One of the bigger lightbulbs that went off in our home this Summer was that balance isn't that healthy after all. To try to put our energy and efforts into everything we do, or want to do, evenly across the board is impossible! Not to mention exhausting. As we were killing ourselves trying to balance everything we had on our plate, we realized that each SEASON calls for something different. We decided first to recognize the season we are in, and then to channel our efforts accordingly. This means that things and/or certain routines may not work like they once did. Or that priorities might need to shift to focus on something or someone a little more intently right now. That's ok! It's ok to admit some things that once worked well just aren't jiving any longer. Drop that plate and move on!

The Present Has No Pause Button

       Goals are a must. We need to have a target to shoot at when moving forward. I get that! However, the present is what's happening now. So, stop waiting until you've dieted for next year's bikini season, or checked off the list of all the things you wanted to change or do. Don't wait for the day when everything is just as you planned or you will miss out on all the great things that are happening around you now. Start taking steps in the direction of your goals, throw on that bikini in the mean time, and have some fun!
 Let What You Do Reflect Who You Are
       Who you are is amazing. You are unlike anyone else, and honestly I think that is awesome! After 34 years of life I am finally settling into who I am with confidence. I am ok with not being a super mom, or a super model. I am proud of where I am, and am secure in knowing where I am going. I am grateful for my great days, and grateful for grace on my bad ones. I am confident wearing a bikini that bears my scars from growing six children, and I appreciate the honor I had of doing so. I pursue excellence, but I loathe perfection. I choose to dream big, but hold those dreams loosely. I walk with my head up because I know who I am, and I want all that I do to reflect that.

Our present, and our future

       My husband and I are raising six children who we believe will change the world as they grow and blossom into the beings that their Maker has created them to be. We have 3 boys and 3 girls. We want them to see strong faith-filled and grace-filled parents who love them and who loves others. We are raising them to believe that they can do and accomplish great things. We live life where "the box" doesn't exist. We pursue greatness (not perfection) every day, and we encourage not only our children, but others around us to do the same. We try to model this so that they can see what that looks like. The Summer of 34 has been busy, exciting, and enlightening to say the least. I'm looking forward to the Summer of 35, and many to follow! I hope this season is treating you well, and as you make your way into the next, may you live well and finish strong!

Until next time, Beautiful.

Peace out, Summer!

   

"_________ Ever After..."

       This is us. Not the awesome new tv show, but us, Erich and Lahni. This picture was our beginning as husband and wife, and it describes us perfectly. What it doesn't show is the immense payback this man received shortly after this photo was taken. That's right, I DID get him back. Let's just say a napkin didn't cut it for him. However, before we move on to the Ever After part, let me back up to give you a brief rundown of the beginning.
       He was 20 and I was 17. (Yes, we were young, and no, I wasn't pregnant. Just throwing that out there.) We got married at 8:00 on a Thursday night. I was in a red tropical sundress, and he wore a pair of red board shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. We sent out an open invitation to everyone we knew, but expected a very small showing. (Come on, it was a Thursday night!) Instead, it was standing room only! We had cake (as you saw), fruit salad, and some fruit punch. The cost of our wedding was a whopping $350. Afterwards we went home, and did what any other young couple would do - ordered pizza, and ripped open our wedding presents of course! The next morning we took off to Costa Rica. We were young, in love, and did whatever we wanted.
       Fastforward through a handful of crazy years. I can say fast forward now, but during those years it was as if life was stuck in slow motion. Anyone who has gone through tough times knows exactly what I'm talking about. Though the details vary, every journey has its challenges. As for those two crazy kids? We grew up, got it together, and found out we were expecting our first child. Which at the time I was convinced was to be our only child. Yeah, I know.

Admit it, there are days!

       To date, it's been 17 years since I said, "I do," 12 years since I found out we were expecting our 1st, and 16 months since the delivery of our 6th. A lot of life has happened since we began our Ever After adventure, and we are looking forward to much more. It hasn't all been rainbows and unicorns, and I know our future holds real life issues as well, and I'm ok with that. If I think back to the times in our lives when we have grown the most, it hasn't been in the easiest or happiest of times. If we're honest, sometimes the more painful parts of life produce the most growth. As we come through the trials that life sometimes throws at us, the hope is to be stronger because of it. Thus making the next battle a bit easier, or perhaps at least bearable. He has an amazing life planned for you! So, don't let the hardships that happen keep you from living it!

        After all, Ever After is not some end all that occurs once true love and happiness are achieved. It's happening right now, whatever season you might be in. So, the question is, what does that look like? What do you want it to look like? You fill in the blank. We asked ourselves this years ago, and we didn't like the answer. So, do you know what we did? we changed it. It took effort, time, and LOTS of prayer, but it happened. Now, I have more than one blank. I think about this often, and I love words, so I like to change it up daily! (Just ask the husband.) But enough of my story, go write yours! Whichever Ever After journey you're on, may you pursue it wisely, grip it strongly, and enjoy it happily. We only get one life here. Let's make it count!

Until next time, Beautiful.

A couple that preaches together...well, learns a lot!

Our story continues...

Strong-Willed And Loving It

The Strong-willed Child: A child whose determination supersedes the boundaries of logic, obedience, or safety. 

The Strong-willed Adult: An adult whose determination is unmatched; still superseding boundaries, however, hopefully with more wisdom than that of the strong-willed child. 

       Hello. My name is Lahni, and I am a strong-willed adult. I like to succeed in what I put my efforts into. I think we all do. Yet, it wasn’t until I became a wife and mother that I recognized the strength of a will. Most have heard the term “strong-willed child,” but few have heard about the “strong-willed adult.” As a young, childless mother, I did not believe in such a thing as the strong-willed child. As a young mother of one, I still believed the strong-willed child was somewhat of a myth. Then it happened. God blew every theory I had about such things right out of the water. He blessed me with a very, very, VERY strong-willed child. 

       This child destroyed every boundary I had in place. They pulverized every parenting trick I had acquired thus far. I had no idea what I was doing, or honestly, what I was going to do with this child. Nothing I did was working. NOTHING! In fact, it was getting worse. I was sure that Super Nanny was going to knock on my door at any moment! Not only was my parenting challenge increasing, but there seemed to be a relational wall being built between my child and me. I was doomed. My child was doomed. Our family was doomed! (Insert slight dramatic tone) All because I had no clue how to parent this child, or any child at all as it felt by this point. (We had 3 at the time.) This was my breaking point. That night I went in, knelt down beside my sleeping child’s bed, and just started crying. Then I started praying. Actually, it was more like yelling. I didn’t understand why in the world God would entrust me with this child. I was unqualified, and unprepared. As I was venting all my worry, anger, and frustration, my prayers began turning to pleas. Pleas for my child, for my children; for our family. Then something amazing happened. God began to download strength, confidence, peace and grace. That night, God brought to my attention that my child might not be the only one with a strong will in our family.

       I lifted my head, and for the first time not only did I believe I could do this, but I was going to do this. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! I was going to out-will my child. I was going to raise this child with strength, confidence, peace and grace. So, that’s what we did, and that’s what we’re continuing to do with all 6. 

       God has taught me more through parenting these children than I have time to explain. He has shown me the good, bad, and even ugly about myself, and has used parenting to rub off a lot of rough edges. Most importantly, He has shown me that the will I wanted so desperately to tame and remove from my child, was the same will He gave and equipped my child with. My job was never to strip away, but to guide and nurture what God had given. In teaching my kids how to submit their wills, without crushing their spirits, I found myself learning the same lesson - submit the will when necessary, but focus and channel that fire to do great things! 

       A lot has happened since the night I came undone in my child’s room. My child’s determination is still in tact, as is mine. We butt heads at times (Probably because we are so similar), but we are closer than I could have ever hoped for. I love my children, but I now have a deep appreciation for them also. I appreciate who God has making them to be, and I appreciate how God is shaping me in the process. I am still perfecting the balance between Mary Poppins and GI Jane daily. And though I am no expert, I am fairly certain that with God’s help, I can handle anything after surviving toddlerhood with a strong-willed child. After all, I am a strong-willed adult! So, instead of feeling like I’m unqualified, I’ve taken on life with the attitude of “Come at me, Bro!” Ladies, we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for sometimes. So, I encourage you to dig down deep, find your strength, and embrace life with all its challenges. You got this!

Until next time, Beautiful.

SO Worth It!

       Have you ever gone through something that felt like absolute hell, but once you're on the other side of it you know that it was SO worth it? I have. I can think of many things that I fought my way through only to say those words. You can too, I'm sure. We can recall that moment when we realize that the feat outweighs the fight.

       One day, I was standing in my kitchen, and my oldest daughter came running in and held on to my waist so tightly that I almost couldn't breathe. As I embraced her, this feeling of love and gratitude flooded my heart to the point that it started pouring out of my eyes. I looked down at her remembering the all-day sickness that I had endured for the first five months of pregnancy, the bedrest, the scares of miscarriage, and the anxiety about my first natural birth. Then, in the same moment the words, "YOU ARE SO WORTH IT" replaced all of that. (Then the tears were ridiculous!) See, pregnancy was one of those "feat vs. fight" things for me. I love kids! However, I am not a fan of growing them in the first nine months. Quite frankly, I'm pretty sure that pregnancy hates me. The miracle that's taking place inside of my body feels more like an alien taking over my existence! I'm moody, I'm sick, I get bloated and fat, I'm tired, and the list goes on and on. HOWEVER, there are five points of pregnancy that I completely love- peeing on the stick and watching that second line appear, the day I can eat food again after barfing all day every day for the first five months, baby's first movements, finding out gender, and my absolute fave, delivery! Delivery day is the best because, though I know what's coming, I know what's coming! This is the moment that resolves the previous nine months. This is the moment that makes all the hardship SO worth it. This is the feat that outweighs the fight.
       Something else happened in that moment when my daughter hugged me. I thought about God, His perception of me, and how He gave His son, Jesus, to redeem me. I wondered if he thought that I was worth the fight. If He felt the same way about me that I felt in that overwhelming moment about my own daughter. The very second those thoughts left me I felt Him speak these five words, "YOU ARE SO WORTH IT."
       The days I screw up royally, I hold tight to these words. The days I feel victorious, I hold tight to these words. Grace is giving someone who is underserving something they don't deserve. That's what God gives us - His Grace. He doesn't change his opinion based on what we do, or don't do. He never says, "Today you're not really worth it." NEVER!
       Today is my daughter's birthday. She is 8 years old. I am teaching her to walk in grace with her head held high because she IS and ALWAYS will be worth it! Not only in my eyes and my husband's, but in God's eyes. It is hard to overcome the bad days sometimes, but let us live in that place of worth and grace, and model such assurance for those around us. Because YOU ARE SO WORTH IT!

Until next time, Beautiful.

       

Tackle Your Dreams

       This is it. This was my dream. He was, and is, my dream. I met him when I was 12. Actually, the first time I met him I was like, "No way." HOWEVER, a year later I saw him for the second time, and let's just say, my reaction was NOT like my first. I tried everything to get his attention, but to no avail. Until one day, when he realized what I had known all along- that I'm awesome, and he can't live without me!
       By that point I considered myself somewhat of an expert on love. After all, I had watched all the movies, and had all the right songs on repeat. Young, crazy, and in love, we decided to get married. At 17 and 20 we tied the knot, took off to Costa Rica, and lived happily ever after. NOT! Shortly after we got back, we waited for our fairytale to unfold. However, instead of a love unfolding, it was more of a life unraveling. This was not a dream come true at all! This was a nightmare! Let's skip forward about 5 years. After waiting for our dreams to find us (which they didn't), we found out that the only chance we had at achieving any kind of dreamy marriage was to make it happen. So, we did! Now, 17 years later, we have 6 kids, and we are building the happiest ever after imaginable!
       I believe we need to "dare to dream," and even "chase our dreams," but I also believe that sometimes we just need to tackle our dreams. I mean, like an angry linebacker in the super bowl kind of tackle! Chase that dream down like you're on an episode of "COPS," and tackle that sucker! Dreams don't come true without a little (or a lot) of pursuit. So, go get it, girl!
       Honestly, I have had many dreams come true, but I've also had many crash and burn. So, I understand not all dreams are in the realm of possibilities. Although I believe many are. Or at least a version of them. For example, we might not be able to become instant millionaires, but we can pay off debts, and save. We might not be able to erase our pasts, but we have the power to change our futures. What are your dreams? A happily ever after? A better job, or promotion? What about travel, or relocating? God has dreams for each and every one of us, and with a little faith, courage, and pursuit such dreams can become reality. It might not be easy, but it's possible.
       You might be thinking, " Well, what about the dreams that are out of my control?" To that I say, there are dreams that can be achieved by pursuit, and then there are dreams that, at best, become prayers. Such circumstances are out of our control. What is in our control is the ability to make sure that the child with no tomorrow has a great today, or the loved one who struggles day in and day out knows that they are loved. Like I said, some dreams may not come to pass, but we can aim high knowing that we took a shot.
       When my husband and I realized that our dreams were within reach, we started tackling those things left and right. Some we had to let go of, and God has given grace in those areas even replacing previous dreams with new ones. Some dreams are still in the making, and we continue to move towards them. No dream is ever too big, or too small. So, take heart, keep dreaming, and tackle your dreams! May God give grace where it's needed, and the strength to take on the mighty and wonderful things He has for you!

Until next time, Beautiful.

Moms Have the Power to Change the World

       Moms are very powerful creatures. Every life begins with a mom. The moments that follow vary from being to being, but we all have the same beginning. I don't know much about the immediate moments after my beginning. I don't know if the woman who brought me into this world held me, kissed me, changed diapers, or dreamed of my future. What I do know, is that with the help of another mother, I was found a family; I was found a mom.
       There is more to moms than the ability to birth a child. We know that. However, sometimes I'm not sure we realize the power a mom has. Moms care for their children. They feed them, they bathe them, they change them, they love them. Life is only sustained in the early years by such care from another human being. That is huge, but what I'm referring to is much larger than even that. Moms have the power to lift the human soul, or crush the inward spirit. They have the ability to bring stability and security, or uncertainty and shame. Over the course of a childhood, they have the influence to shape another human being. Moms have the power to shift and sculpt entire generations, thus having the power to change the world.

For the moms of generations past...

       We don't all have to be moms to know the power of one. We've all known one at one time or another. Most of us know that blood doesn't make a mother. We further know, that regardless of what our moms did, or didn't do, they've impacted our lives, and in doing so, have indirectly impacted the lives of those around us.
       Some of you may have never known your mom. Some may have had your mom taken too soon. For this, I'm sorry. For some, dad has been "mom" in your lives. To this, I say, "Well done, Dad! This applies to you!" Whether you had a great mom, or one that you strive not to become, they played a part in who you will be. We all carry scars and scrapes from our pasts, but we don't have to repeat them. Let's grab onto grace, hold tight to truth, and look to a beautiful tomorrow!

...the moms of the future...

       Like I said, I was found a mom. She is the one who held me, kissed me, changed diapers, and continues to dream of my future. She might not have been at my beginning, but she gave me life. She changed my world, and the worlds of my children. God used her to change my course, and for that, there will always be a special place in my heart for her. She isn't perfect, but that's ok. Perfection isn't a qualification for being a mom, thankfully! She took what she could from her mom, who learned what she could from hers, and so forth. That's all any of us can do. We learn, we grow, and do the very best we can to love and lead our families.
       Moms have the power to change the world. May we recognize it, and use our power wisely! To the moms who have gone before us, the moms who have gone ahead of us, and to us moms in the making, Happy Mother's Day!

Until next time, Beautiful.

 ...the moms God gave us...

...and the dads who step in for the moms who've gone ahead.